MARK LAWRENCE LAGAC

I joined a pre-Pageant

Yes, as you are reading in my title, I joined a pre-Pageant. Mr./Ms. Thomasian Nursing Personality to be exact. I originally knew it because I was part of this organization called Logistics group whose main function is to help the Student Council in its programs. I saw the posters-it was nicely done. I heard the sponsor for the main pageant- it was Topshop/Topman(they're trying to get the store, they say). I was greatly encouraged by these factors.

I was hesitant to get a form, of course. I'm naturally shy and I don't join these kinds of contest unless, forced into. Then, in class, our adviser thought of having a votation. The top 3, supposedly, would be our representatives in the pre-pageant. Unfortunately, the 2nd in rank did not want to join. SO, as a rank 4, I was elevated to rank 3. I got a form.

There were times that I wanted to back out.. It's because I was hesitant to be questioned in front of strangers(Imagine what they would say when I gave a bad answer). Also, I am not quite sure if I was 5'6. HAHA. One more thing, I did not know what the other contestants look like. I didn't know if my looks can match theirs.

Then, yesterday, it happened. I walked down the ramp. I said my name and my section and went to the backstage. My heart was pounding. I can feel the weird heat radiating from the audience as I spoke. But just the same, I did it. After coming back to the dressing room, I changed to my casual wear. T'was a longsleeved shirt, folded so that it would only reach 3/4 of my arm. Then I tucked it in so that it would reveal my black belt fitted into my white jeans. The staffer assisting us told the other staffer, "gusto ko suotin yung damit nya". Of course, it flattered me. Then, my time for the Q&A came.

The question went like this: "If you would win this competition, how would it help you?"

My answer: I think ummm... it would increase my self-esteem. My um... belief in myself. And maybe, umm... I could join other competitions.

Of course, I felt bad with my answer. I personally did not think it was a great answer. It won't even have an impact. My real answer would have been: I think that if I would win this competition, I would be proud of myself. Imagine having been picked by the College to represent the Mr. Thomasian Personality. It just means that I perfectly exemplify the values that this College aims to instill to its future nurses. Indeed, that would greatly make me strive harder to maintain that image that the college has given me. That's all.

If that would be my answer... Nah, I still don't know. It's just unfair how others got questions like "What is your stand in the issue of teaching sex education to gradeschool students?" and "What is your stand in the issue of euthanasia?" If I had those questions, I would certainly awe the judges. Those were questions that care the people, not me. Those questions are not only interesting to the judges and the contestants, to the crowd as well. Any answer is safe with it because it is an opinion either way. There's only 2 answers with it. A yes or a no. Unlike my question which has a lot of possible questions.

See my point? However, I don't feel bitter over such a thing. I HAD FUN. That's all there is. :)

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I find it a little bit weird to write something in it again. I’ve become used to having my thoughts and feelings secluded. However, today, I will again.
A lot of things have happened. Yeah, I took exams on the Top 4 Universities in the Philippines. I passed the three except for UP. Now, I’m a Thomasian. Yes, I’ve decided to enter the 400 year old university and now, I barely have time for myself because of the rigid training that the College of Nursing is providing even to its freshman students.
STRESS. Yes, I’ve to a lot of stressful situations. Physically, Mentally and Emotionally. Physically, because I have to walk for 20 minutes to reach my building. I had to skip breakfasts at times because it takes time to prepare. I had to bear with my roommates. I had to study way past my bedtime. I had to...! There’s a lot of things to do.
Mental Stress. Having entered the College of Nursing, I never thought it would be as hard as this. I thought, I would only get this kind of feeling when I enter UP. Well, it’s gotten me wrong. I have blockmates who are valedictorians, salutatorians, honorables. Yes, and we all experience failing. That’s how hard Nursing in UST is. Everytime you think that you have grasped what your professor is telling you, you will be proven wrong when the quizzes or the exams come. You would feel depressed for a moment, but later, grow numb and you never feel depression over such things. You would only care about passing the cut-off after the 1st year. However, some still don’t know how to cope with it. I can only pity them.
Emotional. Well, I don’t know if I could really share it. Love is a terrible thing to be into. It makes you smile, laugh, sad, cry, scream in pain, angry, EVERYTHING. IT would make you a ludicrous person. Yet, no matter what I say about love, I still remain to be in love. It’s just a powerful being, unstoppable and indestructible. Who knows when it’ll die? Who knows how it can be suppressed?
But, I live on. I can still do a lot of things in my life and things like this are passable. They can be neglected, something that will pass over time. I guess... and I hope.

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